from the bottom of my heart i feel like i was born in the wrong era in the wrong age group and in the wrong country. i dont care if people tell me im being fucking ridiculous or dramatic for this but every single day of my life im seeing every single crisis go completely ignored, every single issue discarded, and every single person apathetic about it — im seeing an ongoing pandemic that everyone’s pretending doesn’t exist for the sake of some pseudo “normalcy,” a climate apocalypse, an educational breakdown, anti union repression, an individualistic populace that cares more for personal indulgence and leisure than solidarity, an uncritical and practically mindless acceptance of the most dystopic technologies and ai, an anti-communist orthodoxy that puts me in a 24/7 state of self-policing whenever im talking with people, a war on abortion, a complete war on trans and intersex people, an oncoming pogrom against undocumented people, a widespread libertarian mantra, cryptocurrencies, copaganda– god just capitalism. year after year after year. and no one ever changes or learns to question any of it and just tells you to respect their opinions while not respecting yours due to them being “extremist.”

What is extremism? Extremism is just the range of attitudes outside of a social hegemony and Overton window fundamentally placed in the far-right. We are ruled by the capitalists. Who are the capitalists? Parasites. What does a parasite want? he only wants to get as much profit as he can even if it means actually killing the workers in the process. capital accumulation. the work to death mantra of the 1910s never vanished, it just redefined itself. it just put a veil on its body, and now it is “back to normal” so-called “post-pandemic” politics. Extremism is when you take pandemic seriously. Extremism is when you take Gaza genocide seriously.

i hate how people think politics is a spectacle and not a matter of life vs. death. the entry of entertainment into politics and the fixation on entertainment scares me. the normalization of daily, hourly, spontaneous, constant — genocide, is something that profoundly impacts me. five new interested students who are starting to wake up to political consciousness are twenty times more important than laughing at a campus conservative. debating scares people, turns them off from politics, moves them away, it is a waste of time. your enemy wont listen to you regardless and all you lose is more time and potential new people. But this is what we have done. We have embraced the debate as a legitimate medium of political struggle. This has alienated away countless recruits. It has wasted time and bought into a capitalist spectacle.

these people are obsessed with THE DIALOGUE but never actually doing anything they talk about in it. they will walk off a cliff and wonder why.

Campuses are the core of this passivity today. They are the best example of western chauvinism because the college campus in the west is the entry into the labor aristocracy. The administrations of these campuses nominally supports you, if you are an activist organisation. but if you get upset at the administration, have a basic demonstration against it, make a basic action and demand upon it, then suddenly it might not support you anymore, it’s too “adversarial”? This is what is the norm everywhere. the administration supports you, but if you have a basic rally, that will alienate it? They have banned all of the encampments. Genocide and femicide and ecocide that you do not see are ceaseless and they do not even permit an encampment at the western chauvinist zionist university. one angry rally. and now the administration wont support you?

and no one questions this? not one single club? Not one campus org? They just accept the run-around cynical protest model of nothingness? Movementism?

they, the westerners, only want to talk about politics insofar as it’s affecting them. gasoline prices, groceries, the streets. they dont want to talk about politics explicitly; they synoynmise politics with the rights of the marginalised and the third world, for whom they have no support or love.

and every single time you ever try saying anything about it every fucking person tells you you’re just pushing an agenda or being rude or annoying or ideological or a killjoy. i tend to continue thinking about so-called “little” political incidents when no one seems to care about them as much anymore. It is a profound isolation. It has become asphyxia on my body, anathema to my sanity.

i hold the line when it is only myself that is left. The young people are all distracted whilst thousands are being killed in Lebanon by criminal zionists. I am exhausted with having absolutely no way to relate with anyone my age, or be able to talk with them, be able to reach them, or relate to them, explain to them, engage them. They are so gone. only the people so consumed by the system manage to talk to them effectively, and they belabor you for not eating the poisoned fruit like they did.

im tired of having every person treat me like im mentally ill for not conforming. I dont want to be here. i dont understand why everyone thinks and acts the way they do and why no one cares about the state of this world. why does nobody care? why am i completely shunned out of every place because i do care?

why does no one else engage in any of this introspection? is anything ever going to get better? am i supposed to live amongst a populace that would rather walk off a fucking cliff blind-folded to what is to come than actually engage in politics? im tired of being taught to think that every one of my angry, tired thoughts about all of this are just simply me being “edgy” because everyone else would prefer it if i just shut up and accepted things for the way they are.

i have my own little land in which one simply pursues consistently leftist political positions and constantly reads to gain them and then i go into the arena of socialisation and suddenly realise everyone wants to like mix and match beliefs and “ideologies” and you suddenly start hearing “well i dont think we should outright abolish greek life” “there are only two genders” “we can have some institutions remain private” “a fetus is still a human being” “why is supporting police political” “prison is an objective part of life” and by then, you have been choked.

That is capitalist asphyxia. It is killing all of us — first by separating us apart, quarantining us, locking us enslaved to our own passivity, inertia, political apathy, distraction, bourgeois ideological entertainment. And then it kills us. It did so certainly with a coronavirus, it has done so with police, it does so with femicides and transfemicides. It will do so once more, and will do so repeatedly.

It is now really a question of socialism or extinction. A ultimate modification of the term could be decolonial-decarceral-degrowth-transfeminist communism or death.